I am terrible at keeping a schedule.

This week it has been my goal to keep to an actual structured schedule.

This week I have kept to my schedule a total of zero times.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still getting everything accomplished that I need to, just...not exactly in the timeframes I should be doing them. I want to say that it doesn't entirely matter since I'm still getting the things done anyways, but for me, it does. I know full well that when I operate on a schedule, my brain is a healthier place.

When I'm not on a schedule, my brain ends up lost in some floating chaos. Nothing that needs to get done is done, and everything is left to the last minute. I end up rushing for everything, which just ends up making me anxious and causing undue stress. While a schedule seems so constricting, and being "stuck" is one of my biggest fears, it's somewhat apparent why sticking to one is so difficult.

But, the evidence is also there to support that having a schedule isn't the same as being "stuck". It isn't holding me back, in fact, it's just the opposite. It is okay for a couple things to get moved slightly. It's not the end of the world if one chore doesn't get done. But it is detrimental, and shows itself in my moods, when I completely throw it out the window.

So, wish me luck. For tomorrow another attempt begins.