- Anni Adalia
In Where I Finally Understand Forgiveness
When we read Tarot we delve deep into varying emotions. It has the ability to bring out the things we hide away from the rest of the world, things we wish we could forget but never should or do, things that make us truly feel.
Enveloped in all of this is the idea of forgiveness.
I grew up in a church-every-Sunday Christian household. I was told that we need to forgive our enemies and ask for forgiveness of our own sins, but they never really explained anything beyond that. I didn’t fully grasp what forgiveness was until a Psychiatrist explained it to me a year ago in a conversation that lasted all of five minutes.
Forgiveness is letting go. Letting go of the grief and animosity that weighs your shoulders down. Accepting what’s been done to you/what mistakes you’ve made in the past and releasing them. Realizing that nothing can be done to change what has happened, so acknowledging it and letting go of the negative emotions attached with it. Not forgetting--because mistakes and failure and hardships are where we learn lessons, but letting go of the negative emotions, letting go of the guilt in your heart, and letting peace and acceptance in.
Forgiveness is for you. Forgiveness affects the weight you carry on your shoulders. Forgiveness affects the lightness of your heart.
No one else even has to know that you’ve forgiven them.
You see, growing up it was made to seem like a confrontational matter. You forgave someone, and you had to let them know you did it. Which, if they don’t realize they hurt you in some way, or if they aren’t sorry at all and think what they did was just fine, can cause a lot of trouble. Then you have a whole lot more to worry about and the whole thing brings about nothing but anxiety.
The reality of the situation is, though, that forgiveness is more about loving yourself and taking care of yourself than it is about anything or anyone else. It is an emotional repair toolkit that helps you focus and recenter yourself. It’s about choosing who you give power over you, because no one can truly hurt you unless you let them. If you forgive them, they can’t hurt you the same way anymore. It’s about bringing yourself peace.
This is what I wish I was taught so many years ago, and what I’ve discovered to be true through reading Tarot. Tarot guides me and shows me where I need to focus my forgiveness so that I can move past my pain and reach my true self.
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